I want to talk today about The Light. I cannot see one step in front of me because there is a Light so strong it blinds me. No, this is not a genie in the bottle that you can access whenever you need a miracle or you want to know the future.
No, this Light hides the future FOR me with all it’s mysteries and great things that wait for me there. I am not able to comprehend this Light because is greater than me and if I would see the future I would be overwhelmed and paralyzed by fear, never being able to believe what this Light will help me accomplish.
No, this Light is like no other lights that you ever saw. This Light demands your full surrender of control, completely and foolishly. Right when you thought that you understood something, this Light steps in and breaks all the sculpted images that you formed in your heart and sometimes, your heart breaks in the process. And right when you thought that you could grasp on a little bit of control and safety, everything scatters apart in a mighty hurricane and all you can do is loose yourself in this Presence, recognize your boundaries and yield this illusion of control. I am here right now, completely broken, but this Light is here to comfort me and say, „fear not because I am with you”. Although I cannot understand how that might help now, I can only say with my last breath,
„I don’t understand a thing but I give up this right of mine and I just tell You as adeclaration of love: I’m here and I will stay on this altar. I, I’ll be a fool for You!”
„This Light is the true Light from which everything was born in the beginning of all things. ”
March, 21, 2016 when baby Jacob left to be with the Lord.
(foto by Antoniu Bumb von Jerischmarkt)
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